{"id":205,"date":"2008-12-10T06:53:18","date_gmt":"2008-12-10T10:53:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/?p=205"},"modified":"2009-02-19T02:43:53","modified_gmt":"2009-02-19T06:43:53","slug":"secret-santa-ideas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/?p=205","title":{"rendered":"Secret Santa ideas"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s almost Christmas, and that means Secret Santa! Stand out this year with these fun tips:<\/p>\n

1. You know what people LOVE? Melted cheese! But you don’t want to attract atention by using the microwave. You’re a SECRET Santa! Jam cheese wedges under your arms while you work. Your Sant-ee will be sooo happy!<\/p>\n

2. Here’s a fun idea: install a kooky program on your Sant-ee’s computer! \u00c2\u00a0Make it so whenever they move their mouse it starts an MP3 of Jingle Bells! What could be more festive than that?<\/p>\n

3. This was a big hit last year: install mistletoe on the ceiling above your secret Sant-ee’s desk. But before you do make sure it’s COVERED in sticky semen! Your co-workers will laugh like crazy when they look up to see what’s dripping! And THAT’S when to steal a kiss!<\/p>\n

4. Is your secret sant-ee married? Or single? Either way, there’s a good chance that he or she hasn’t had a REALLY good orgasm in a LONG time. Leave daily notes about how you’d get him\/her off if you had the chance! And get ready for FUN at the Christmas party!<\/p>\n

5. Raisins. They’re nature’s candy.<\/p>\n

6. See below:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s almost Christmas, and that means Secret Santa! Stand out this year with these fun tips: 1. You know what people LOVE? Melted cheese! But you don’t want to attract atention by using the microwave. You’re a SECRET Santa! Jam cheese wedges under your arms while you work. Your Sant-ee will be sooo happy! 2. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[176,51,187,211,214,12,134,210,40,6,213,11,39,38,215,36,35,34,37,5,41,212,127],"class_list":["post-205","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-anal","tag-dav","tag-iraq","tag-lesbian","tag-lmao","tag-lol","tag-mandingo","tag-milf","tag-mistletoe","tag-obama","tag-old","tag-omg","tag-orgasm","tag-raisins","tag-rofl","tag-santa","tag-secret","tag-secret-santa","tag-secret-santa-ideas","tag-semen","tag-sexual-harassment-policy","tag-sids","tag-va"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/205","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=205"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/205\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":364,"href":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/205\/revisions\/364"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=205"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=205"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=205"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}