{"id":234,"date":"2009-01-07T08:18:36","date_gmt":"2009-01-07T12:18:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/?p=234"},"modified":"2009-02-19T02:22:33","modified_gmt":"2009-02-19T06:22:33","slug":"cum-stains","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/?p=234","title":{"rendered":"Cum stains?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Try tonic water. Still? Try seltzer. Then Peanut butter. Then sugarless gum (apply, freeze, repeat). If all this doesn&#8217;t get the stain out, ADD MORE CUM.<\/p>\n<p>PS-<a href=\"http:\/\/profile.myspace.com\/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&amp;friendID=437593284\">This<\/a> is my new favorite band. And I haven&#8217;t even heard them yet.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/01\/final-1-7-09.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-235\" title=\"final-1-7-09\" src=\"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/01\/final-1-7-09-162x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"162\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Try tonic water. Still? Try seltzer. Then Peanut butter. Then sugarless gum (apply, freeze, repeat). If all this doesn&#8217;t get the stain out, ADD MORE CUM. PS-This is my new favorite band. And I haven&#8217;t even heard them yet.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[119,102,19,198,199,151,6,11,63,172],"class_list":["post-234","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-calvin-pees-on-jeff-gordon","tag-castration","tag-cum","tag-facebook","tag-iphone","tag-lasagna","tag-obama","tag-omg","tag-vista","tag-windows-7"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/234","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=234"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/234\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":350,"href":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/234\/revisions\/350"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=234"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=234"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.garf1.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=234"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}