Auld Lang Garf

2008: The year in review

OBAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Don’t call it a comeback!

Merry Garfmas

We’re taking the week off for the holiday at garf1.com. Don’t worry, we’ll be back Monday. Happy holidays!

Garf gallery update

Some recent work is on display at the “Holiday Cram It” show at Ello Gallery, 110 State Street, Portsmouth, NH.

Go buy it.

Christmas List

1. Peace on earth

2. Goodwill towards men

3. MICRONAUTS!!!!!!!!!

Touch me. Feel me.

I’m sending some shoes to the President

“This is a farewell kiss, you dog. This is from the widows, the orphans and those who were killed in Iraq.”

Amen, brother. Amen.

Secret Santa ideas

It’s almost Christmas, and that means Secret Santa! Stand out this year with these fun tips:

1. You know what people LOVE? Melted cheese! But you don’t want to attract atention by using the microwave. You’re a SECRET Santa! Jam cheese wedges under your arms while you work. Your Sant-ee will be sooo happy!

2. Here’s a fun idea: install a kooky program on your Sant-ee’s computer! ┬áMake it so whenever they move their mouse it starts an MP3 of Jingle Bells! What could be more festive than that?

3. This was a big hit last year: install mistletoe on the ceiling above your secret Sant-ee’s desk. But before you do make sure it’s COVERED in sticky semen! Your co-workers will laugh like crazy when they look up to see what’s dripping! And THAT’S when to steal a kiss!

4. Is your secret sant-ee married? Or single? Either way, there’s a good chance that he or she hasn’t had a REALLY good orgasm in a LONG time. Leave daily notes about how you’d get him/her off if you had the chance! And get ready for FUN at the Christmas party!

5. Raisins. They’re nature’s candy.

6. See below:

Need sleeeeeeep