If U2 won’t pay their taxes, what hope do we have of getting EVIL rich people to do it?

People are finally starting to question why it is that U2, a band that supposedly wants social justice, has fled Ireland for a tax haven. I mean, if the good guys won’t pay taxes, what chance to we have of getting the evil plutocrats to pay their fair share?

According to Christian Aid, tax evasion costs the lives of 1000 children a day. So, tonight thank God it’s them instead of you.

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Secret Santa ideas

It’s almost Christmas, and that means Secret Santa! Stand out this year with these fun tips:

1. You know what people LOVE? Melted cheese! But you don’t want to attract atention by using the microwave. You’re a SECRET Santa! Jam cheese wedges under your arms while you work. Your Sant-ee will be sooo happy!

2. Here’s a fun idea: install a kooky program on your Sant-ee’s computer! ┬áMake it so whenever they move their mouse it starts an MP3 of Jingle Bells! What could be more festive than that?

3. This was a big hit last year: install mistletoe on the ceiling above your secret Sant-ee’s desk. But before you do make sure it’s COVERED in sticky semen! Your co-workers will laugh like crazy when they look up to see what’s dripping! And THAT’S when to steal a kiss!

4. Is your secret sant-ee married? Or single? Either way, there’s a good chance that he or she hasn’t had a REALLY good orgasm in a LONG time. Leave daily notes about how you’d get him/her off if you had the chance! And get ready for FUN at the Christmas party!

5. Raisins. They’re nature’s candy.

6. See below:

Need sleeeeeeep

Like a shot in the leg