The Comics Editor

Look out tonight at MSG. Kobe set the table. LeBron brought what he had.

But tonight: GARF1!

Really? We’re supposed to still be excited? Hopeful? Engaged? FUCK THAT

Maybe we can sell new ones to conservatives. Or white supremacists. Or, you know, liberals. I bet they’re pissed.

Try tonic water. Still? Try seltzer. Then Peanut butter. Then sugarless gum (apply, freeze, repeat). If all this doesn’t get the stain out, ADD MORE CUM.

PS-This is my new favorite band. And I haven’t even heard them yet.

I had a very minor car accident last night. I was too tired to garf this morning. But it’s ready now.